In the News
I just received this news update from my mom. I wanted to keep you informed--what with the War on Terror and everything.
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as she attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the woman is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the woman, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, "W" said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Okay, okay, I know it's nothing original, but did you at least smile? I know I did. In fact, I think I even chuckled when I first read it. Too good to not pass along, in my humble opinion.
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as she attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the woman is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the woman, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, "W" said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Okay, okay, I know it's nothing original, but did you at least smile? I know I did. In fact, I think I even chuckled when I first read it. Too good to not pass along, in my humble opinion.
posted by April | 1:40:00 PM
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